Developing Self Confidence
Paving your way to success…
From the quiet confident doctor on who’s advice we rely on with our life, to the strong, outspoken and charismatic leader, we love to hear, self-confident people are admired everywhere by everyone.
Self confidence is a determining factor in almost every aspect of our life and yet so many people struggle to achieve it. Unfortunately it can be even vicious for those who lack it and find it difficult to be successful.
After all, if we talk about companies and organizations, they would always show reluctance in hiring people who lack self confidence. Top notch MNCs, will never back a project that is being pitched by someone who is nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic and neither they would let anyone with these traits head their ventures.
On the other hand, you might find yourself persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, whose head is held high, whose answers may be incorrect or different but is filled with assurance and who readily admits when he/she doesn’t know something.
It is a universal truth that confident people inspire confidence in others and gaining confidence of others is one of the key ways to achieve success and the good news is that self confidence can be learned and built on. It is even well worth the effort if you are working on your own confidence or building the confidence of the people around you.
How confident do you seem to others? Have you ever asked this question?
Your level of self confidence can show up in many ways. You behavior, body language, articulation of your speech, logical speaking and so on are the determiners of your personality and replicate your self confidence. Let us illustrate this with an example. Look at the following comparisons between a confident behavior and a low self confident behavior. Try to analyze which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself and people around you?
|CONFIDENT BEHAVIOR||BEHAVIOR ASSOCIATED WITH LOW SELF CONFIDENCE|
|Doing what you believe is right without fearing what others will think about it.||Judging your behavior based on what others think about you.|
|Being willing to take risks and take those few steps to go an extra mile to achieve your targets.||Staying within your comfort zone and fearing failure and as such take avoidance on taking risks.|
|Taking full responsibility of your mistakes and admitting them.||Rather working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you will fix the problem before anyone notices it.|
|Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments.||Extolling your own virtues as often as possible to as many people as possible.|
|Accepting compliments graciously by saying, “Thanks, I really worked hard on it. I am pleased that you appreciate my efforts.”||Dismissing compliments off-handedly by saying, “Oh! That was nothing, anyone could have done that.”|
As obvious from the above mentioned comparisons, low self confidence can be overly self destructive and only produce negativity. On the other hand, confident people promote a positive outlook as they believe in themselves and their actions and live life to the full.
Having said that, now let us know what self confidence?
Self confidence is nothing but one’s self assurance in one’s personal judgment, ability, power etc. One increases self confidence from experiences of having mastered particular activities. Self confidence more specifically trusts one’s ability to achieve some goal.
How to build self confidence?
Building Self confidence is not something that can happen overnight. It is a long process that requires a lot of patience and perseverance. When it comes to building self confidence, one has to ensure that one keeps a very positive approach towards it and one shouldn’t falter in the way of achieving it or rather give it up.
We at Ocean English Academy, have organized innumerable sessions on building self confidence for our students and the guest speakers are those people who are successful in their fields and have replicated their success with their own experiences.
We have epitomised these lectures and sessions and drawn a list of key factors that are influential in building self confidence. All we would say to you is to go through them and try to imbibe them in your life.
- First of all you should be aware where you are, where you want to go and how you want to get there. This involves a lot of planning and reasoning. A proper planning will go a long way in developing self confidence. Listen to motivational speakers, try to observe their speaking skills and body language. Remember a confident person will give out a positive vibe.
- Focus more on your achievements rather than cribbing about your failures. Change your attitude towards failure. Remember failure is the pillar of success. If you are caught in the trap of thinking what you did wrong that resulted in the failure, then look at what all right did you do? Try to learn from your mistakes and make sure that you don’t repeat it next time. This change in the attitude will make you more positive and that outlook will change your perception on how you cope with all the challenges you face.
- Learn to feel good about yourself. Remember you have definitely accomplished something that will make you feel good about yourself.
- Be assertive but in the right way. This will make you feel confident and will make you aspire for self confidence in your life. Fake it until you get it.
- Be adamant about your good qualities and flaunt them. Don’t let others influence you in a negative way. It is you who matters and not others opinion. You should be persuasive in getting others adopt you for your good qualities and not letting others tell you how to be as a person.
- If you have been delegated with any responsibility, make sure you are well prepared with it. Knowing that you are prepared will help you cope up with any sudden changes and this will aggravate the self confidence in you.
- Work and polish up those skills you need to do what you want to do. You can never be over trained or over skilled for any challenge in life.
- Try to work on your relaxation skills. When you face a difficult or challenging situation, relaxing your mind and thinking calmly about the solutions will help you to be more confident in your pursuit for solving the problem. This will also enable you to drive away any pessimistic approach and you will be optimistic about the results.
- Always gesticulate with a smile on your face and with a straight posture. Your posture and smile will project confidence and you will feel better in able to cope with any hard situation. You will also find that others will respond to you in a better way and this will give you an added boost to your self confidence level.
- Set reachable goals for yourself and break difficult tasks into smaller steps. You will be able to believe that you can achieve your larger goals if you can see the clear steps towards it and know that you can be successful by taking the smaller steps first.
- There is no harm in rewarding yourself when you succeed no matter how small is the achievement. Remind yourself that you are moving forward with determination and that you are one step closer towards the achievement of your goal.
- Finally, we advise you not to be too competitive or compare yourself with others. Be yourself and accept that life is not a race against others. Your self confidence depends on you and your personal needs. Set your own standards and allow yourself to overcome challenges at your own pace.
To conclude, self confidence is only an umbrella term used to define a lot of qualities. Emotional constraint, humor, empathy, resilience, string relationships, all go into creating the personality that exudes self-confidence.
A self confident person would know how to say things that are honest without hurting other’s sentiments. A self confident person also knows how to be heard with dignity, when there is a difference of opinion. All this takes practice, but the most important thing is the belief that you can be better. This is the cornerstone for any improvement in the world.